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I'm an overly dramatic individual doing my best to be a rock star wife that goes in tow where the Army sends her husband... This isn't always an easy task at times... I'm don't find myself to be the most witty, funny or interesting but others tell me that I am... I'll just be cooking and traveling through my sad (probably pathetic) attempt at blogging!

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Monday, January 16, 2012

Thanks to some Army games....

I get to go here:

Iguaza Falls in Brazil (also Paraguay and Argentina, but we are flying into and staying in Brazil)





It will be a short trip but a fun trip none the less... I'll even let the hubby use it as my Valentine's Day present since we fly out the 15th and come back the 17th :)

Now how does this relate to some Army games you ask? Well thanks to some lovely folks who are extremely disorganized and some other folks who like to sit on paper work for 3 weeks, the request to have me added onto the husband's orders went over into the "you don't have 12 months left at your duty station so we won't give her command sponsorship" category.... The sad thing is we started working this little detail at the beginning of September and thanks to the above mentioned folks, it took them until end of December to come back with that little bullshit statement.... They also somehow came up with the magical month/year of February 2013 as for how long he needs to extend down here for to get me on his orders.... Where they came up with February instead of December we aren't quite sure but I digress....  Since my tourist visa is going to expire at the end of this February, we needed a trip that got me out of Peru for 24 hours and thanks to a little special on LAN airlines, we settled on the Iguaza Falls :)

The other fun game we are playing with the Army is how long can it take for them to send out an email if the husband got selected for the new Army job he wants (again because the Army decided to be dicks about this job and he has no desire to go back to aviation)... We need that decision to decide on a lot of things. For example, extending till Feb. 2013 so that I can get put on the orders or not extending and where our next trip will be or if I will just got back to the good Ol' US of A at the end of my next tourist visa........ Oh joy oh joy.... The joys of also being married to a higher entity that is not God (as my lovely friend Anne said it best)......

Tuesday, December 13, 2011

"Please Sir, I want some more."

Why yes little Oliver Twist, you may! Since I've developed a new found love/addiction for Pinterest, I have come across another lovely blog with what seems like endless fantastic recipes. Pearls, Handcuffs, and Happy Hour has led me to great things like an amazing chicken enchilada pasta and a fabulous Italian chicken soup. Tonight's meal of choice was the Italian chicken soup. The fun part of these recipes is that I get to put the "I'm in Peru and I can't find that shit" twist on it. So here goes my version of the Italian chicken soup! Oh and I cut her recipe in half too since there is only two of us versus I believe four on her team. Plus another "oh and" I get to have the joy sometimes of trying to remember how many grams is equal to how many whatevers.



250g or 1/2 box of some cute shaped pasta {I used little baby shells}
olive oil {I don't measure that crap, I eyeball it accordingly}
2 chicken breasts
4 cups chicken broth
1 medium onion, diced
2 medium/large carrots, diced
2 stalks of celery, diced
2 fresh jalapenos {in my case I use a random safe looking green chili I've used before} diced
1 can {28. oz} whole tomatoes, diced {don't question this just do it}
1 cup heavy cream
2 tbsp. minced fresh oregano {dried is okay too}
3  cloves crushed garlic
salt & pepper, to taste
Parmesan Cheese shavings or shredded as desired


To get started I gather up all the above shit except I leave the cheese and heavy cream in the fridge. Then I proceeded to cook my pasta according to the time listed on the package, drain it, toss with a smidge of olive oil and set aside {there's going to be a lot that setting aside thing going on for a minute}. Also while I had that going on I boiled up those chicken tits till they were cooked through. Now she does hers in the chicken broth but I didn't and that's okay cause I was making this my own little Peruvian way. Once the those chicken tits are cooled enough to tear apart, I got to shredding. Again set aside the shredded chicken. Since I had pasta cooking and chicken boiling, I started on the dicing up of the various veggies. Once those are all diced, I set those aside too.

I would say this brings us to the question of "Why on Earth would I dice up a can of whole tomatoes when I can just buy a can of already diced?" Well according to our good friend over at Pearls, Handcuffs, and Happy Hour - The whole tomatoes have more/better flavor than that of the already diced canned tomatoes. Since this was my first time whipping this up, I decided not to argue and just go along with it. You can use a can of diced if you like. I won't judge. Anyways, if you do it this way just pull out the tomatoes with a spoon and dice those babies up followed by putting them back in the can with their juices.

Now bust out your large pot to fit all this shit into, grab that olive oil and go splishity splashity with some of it {enough to coat the bottom of the pot} and getting heating up. Now toss in your onion, carrots, celery, chili and garlic and stir that around like a Merry-go-Round real quick. It should look a little something like this:





I let that goodness cook up for about 10 minutes while I occasionally stirred and sipped on a diet coke {you may have whatever beverage you like}. At about that 10 minute mark, I tossed in that shredded chicken, poured in the broth and plopped in those tomatoes with their juices. It should look just like this:

 If somehow it does not look like this, I don't know where you went wrong and you are probably screwed and should never ever cook again.

Anyways stir that baby up and sprinkle in some pepper and about 2 small dashes of salt. Now just bring that up to a boil, cover and simmer on low for like 30 minutes {I say 30 minutes because it was a little too early to eat dinner and I wanted to wrap some presents, but really just simmer long enough to heat it through and get those flavors mixing}

About that oregano! I did not have fresh {neither did Pearls} So what she did {and me too} was take the dry, add some broth and a splish of olive oil and saute that until it makes your house smell yummy, so just a few minutes. Then I added that to the pot at the above mentioned 30 minute mark and I let it simmer for about another 15 minutes. Just before I dished us up, I poured in the heavy cream plus that precooked pasta and gave it a good stir while I had Scott shredding up that parm. Scooped some up into two bowls sprinkled some parm on top. It looked a little some like this:



Ta-da!!!! I served some ciabatta bread with olive oil and basalmic on the side. It had great flavor and would be good anytime of year. It's filling enough but not so heavy you can't have it on a summer day. I would say this was a win. That's right Charlie Sheen, this soup was "winning".


Thursday, November 17, 2011

Clearly I have been slacking

I must be the world's worst blogger, well at least in my mind I am... It seriously has been since July that I last blogged and I wrote a thriller of a blog about removing gum from the dryer! How freaking exciting am I? I guess I'll do the sparknotes.com version of what's been happening (which after August is not a whole lot). July was relatively boring other than a broken hot water heater followed by the pressure release valve popping off and creating a mini rain forest like setting in my laundry room causing me to panic and scream like a little girl (which I managed to overcome and handle like an adult), a trip to Nazca and the arrival of my wedding dress.

August was a lot more exciting. That involved a trip to North Dakota to party with some of my favorite people and watch my new sister-in-law get married as well. Scott and I decided to jump on the band wagon and get married the following week... Probably one of the best days of my life to date... August 20th, 2011. On a side note, Kim Kardashian decided to have her wedding that day too! I should have bet her the $10 million she spent on her wedding that mine would last longer... Way to go the distance Kim! I can now say I've been happily married for almost 90 days. Go me! It probably helps that I actually like and love the person I married, even though I have a tendency to call him asshole and jackass frequently.

September was a snooze. I really can't recall anything super awesome other than my mom's birthday and my grandma's and my cousin's birthday too. So let's just skip to October.

October was host to my wonderful husband's birthday (see I don't always think he's a jackass or an asshole). I did my best to make it special with balloons, a cake made from scratch (no i didn't use the mix in the box and qualify it as from scratch) and some delicious steaks and baked potatoes... We went to Paracus that weekend which was a nice quite fishing town. I think my favorite moment of October is when I went to Mrs. Schauber's Halloween Coffee on the 17th...... I will accept the jackass of the month award for this one... The bottom part of the invite has black text which kinda went into a black background, so I tried to copy and paste the text to see if it was a costume or no costume required party... Well I ended up thinking it said costumes required... I drive over there and show up in my army girl pinup costume only to have her open the door to everyone dressed in regular casual attire.... How freaking embarrassing..... I really wanted to cry and run back in the elevator but I did what I do best and I rolled with the situation and enjoyed myself until I got home where I chose to continually beat myself up for looking like a jackass..... When Halloween actually rolled around, I didn't even dress up like I usually do and just went out with the husband to dinner and drinks..

November so far has been pretty good. At the beginning of the month Scott and I went to the Marine Corps Ball which was a total blast even with the crazy drama at the end of the night. You know it's not a good night unless some drunk asshole who claims to be a US citizen but is Iranian shows complete and utter disrespect for the US and it's service members tries to assault one of your friends. Let's just say our favorite drunk asshole got what he deserved and all of us were for the most part unharmed (us ladies were just a little shaken up from the unnecessary drama). This Sunday I might go to a bull fight. Now since I love animals and my idea of fun isn't watching a bull get killed at the end of a bull fight, I might not have the best time. It is part of the culture and the adventure though, so that's why I'm going to go anyways. A week from now is Thanksgiving. This would be the first Thanksgiving I'm hosting. I think it should turn out fine. I wish I knew where there was like an arts and crafts store around here because I would love to get my DIY on and make an awesome centerpiece so that I look like a cool, young, hip Martha Stewart...

Anyways, now that we are all caught up basically, I'll try to come up with a fun witty blog in between my endless surfing of Facebook and playing Cityville on FB..... Ta Ta for now folks!

Wednesday, July 6, 2011

House Wife 101: Google certification in gum removal

This one is for all you moms and moms to be that have or may run into this problem...

Gum in the dryer... I forgot to check the pockets of Scott's pants before washing and throwing them in the dryer... One of those pockets contained an entire packet of Trident gum... Now I should have inspected the load of laundry further when I thought I got a hint of minty fresh gum when switching from the washer to the dryer, but instead I half ass checked pockets and proceeded with the cycle...

Fast forward to pulling the clothes out of the dryer to discover this wonderful gooey sticky surprise! Oh joy! I would now like to say that I am Google certified in gum removal... So far the trick of downy fabric softener and dryer sheets seems to be working on the dryer.... I have yet to check the clothes for damage but supposedly warm vinegar is what works so when I go to the store to get bread and lettuce for part of tonight's dinner I better invest in an extra tooth brush for scrubbing the gum out of clothes just in case....

I guess the lesson is that you should always have dryer sheets, fabric softener, vinegar and a spare tooth brush on hand just in case you run into this sticky gooey yucky time consuming problem...

Tuesday, July 5, 2011

Pass me the vodka with a straw please!

It's turning into one of those days....

It's not one of those days where anything extra horrible has happened but just one of those days where things aren't going quite right or not at all... It's just one of those days where there are too many twists and turns and bumps in the road... It's one of those days where you just say "Fuck it, pass me the vodka with a straw"... We all have them...

I would like the vodka today because I slept like shit, hot water heater isn't working right, car was broken into and I ordered a hat that will get a permanent crease in it if bent....

The hat thing is an easy fix... I can just pick up the phone cancel the order hopefully and order the right hat... Sleeping like shit will be solved hopefully by a good nights sleep tonight (with the help of some of that vodka)...

Now as for the car thing... I go to take pics of the beetle cause we are selling it and the windows on the passenger side were smashed out***.... Now if these had been smart car thieves they would have checked both doors to find out one of them doesn't lock so no smashing of windows was required... This is just an inconvenience since we are trying to sell the car and now have to get new windows...

Last but not least is that hot water heater thing... The pilot light keeps going out on it and we had maintenance come look at it... He said some stuff I didn't understand in Spanish and some stuff I did... Which was that someone would be coming back at 3pm to fix it... Well they did... But it went out again... I managed to get it going again but we will see how long it lasts......

I know there are people with much bigger problems than I so I'll only take a couple sips and pass the vodka down and remember tomorrow is a new day....


***Edit: Upon closer inspection... the idiots only smashed out the small window and then rolled down the other window...

Tuesday, June 28, 2011

You can't have a wedding without a few hiccups

I can say that 90% of my wedding planning has gone smoothly. The other 10% involves 2 things.

THING 1:
The restaurant I had planned on having dinner at afterward misled my mom and I into believing that yes they would be available to host our dinner on August 20th at 7:30pm when they replied back to her and asked would we like inside or outside. Of course we want outside and to that they then said "We are booked for a private event the 20th and the 21st. We could do your dinner on the 19th." I'd like to applaud the genius who thinks I can have my post wedding dinner before my wedding... So now I'm researching and emailing different restaurants to see if they are available for my post wedding dinner.

THING 2:
My wedding dress to me has gone MIA. I found a lovely lace halter dress for a whopping $110. Now given that is was only $110, it seems I contributed to child labor in China where some poor little children probably hand stitched my dress. All was fine and dandy with that until now. Supposedly my dress left Hong Kong on June 14th. To me with Hong Kong being right across the ocean from WA (had to have the dress sent to my parent's house first) it should only take a week to get there. Well here we are at June 28th. Today would be the LAST day it should take to arrive given standard shipping. So I have started to panic. This basically leaves me with one month to find and order a new dress and have it arrive here in Lima if this dress does not show up. August 4th I'm on a plane bound for the Estados Unidos and will be up in Bottineau, ND the next day. I have a slight layover in Miami but how on earth during my time in Miami will I find a dress that fits just right and isn't too expensive otherwise god willing there is something in Bottineau, Minot, or even Fargo that I can get to without inconveniencing anyone.

So let us pray that the dress shows up today. Otherwise we move onto the prayers for the poor poor unfortunate customer service agents that will get stuck dealing with me. No dress = no wedding in my mind... And no wedding is just not an option therefore I NEED my fucking dress...

Wednesday, June 15, 2011

Friends or lack there of...

It seems to me that I can now expect the length of my friendships to last 2 months to 2 years... With that being said I miss most of my friends back home and I'm going to miss the two really good friends I've made down here... I hope that the connections remain, although since moving it seems that most will fade...

As I have adjusted to life as a stay at home fiance fairly well and managed to develop a Friday night social life for the better part of a couple months... Unfortunately, Nicole has to move on to bigger and better parts of her career and the same goes for Michelle in a couple of weeks... Therefore Friday night dinners and the every now and again Saturday manicure will be put on hold till I find my new group of NORMAL (I emphasize normal because of the lack of normal individuals within this embassy)friends to do dinners and such with... But then again that is this life and something I knew getting into this adventure...

I guess what I didn't fully prepare for was the lack of communication from friends from back "home"... Home is now in quotes because THIS is my new home... I feel like there was a great enthusiasm towards being friends with me because I was leaving but now that I've been gone, it seems I'm all but a distant memory to most... Maybe it's because I have too many posts from Cityville on my Facebook and I've been blocked by people? or is it that sorta you don't see it so you forget about it kinda thing?

I also have a tendency to go along with the belief that my generation is too reliant on TEXTING... Back in WA I was always only a text away and even I have to admit I would rather send a text than pick up the phone and hit the call button... Given that texting is not an option to get a hold of me, I had sent out a FB message to the friends I felt I would keep in contact with the most... I guess really only 2 of them actually picked up the phone and called and even then it seems it's been a couple months.... It's like the excitement of my move and the excitement of my engagement has faded into the background.... Maybe it's also my fault for thinking they should be the ones to pick up and call when I also have not picked up to call them... In my head I know these people have jobs, where as I do not... So I guess I thought that since they are the busier ones that they would call when they have time, as where I do not want to bother them when they are busy...

Now life goes on and I understand that friendships will definitely come and go, but I just think I expected a little more out of those who said they would keep in touch and maybe I need to step up my game in the friendship department as well...